He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
