idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
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If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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