My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
