I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
