3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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