i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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