i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Congratulations! We have a period
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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