the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We have so much sex to catch up on
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
