it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
