I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Terrible idea I love it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
