remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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