how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
