her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
