Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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