I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"