Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.

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  (314): Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem. http://tfl.nu/kucl
  Replies (29) Good night (2130) Bad night (644)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

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  (816): Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night. http://tfl.nu/m82p
  Replies (9) Good night (3247) Bad night (1166)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven

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  (804): just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven http://tfl.nu/wd21
  Replies (3) Good night (2315) Bad night (740)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  When are you comin back?

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons

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  (253): When are you comin back? (1-253): probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons http://tfl.nu/lgag
  Replies (3) Good night (1944) Bad night (698)
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  (+65): View more from

  No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

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  (+65): No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car. http://tfl.nu/46mc
  Replies (20) Good night (4558) Bad night (1107)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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  (314): Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there. http://tfl.nu/fiix
  Replies (6) Good night (1271) Bad night (1310)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
  Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (562)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

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  (978): Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you. http://tfl.nu/qush
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (468)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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  (303): Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected. http://tfl.nu/v8lk
  Replies (4) Good night (872) Bad night (926)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.

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  (937): We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you. http://tfl.nu/h5o1
  Replies (12) Good night (1175) Bad night (949)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.

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  (859): I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything. http://tfl.nu/z1ef
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (274)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.

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  (248): I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade. http://tfl.nu/28nt
  Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (314)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.

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  (917): hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now. http://tfl.nu/iew9
  Replies (1) Good night (1278) Bad night (310)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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  (216): For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy. (1-216): Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry. http://tfl.nu/kldv
  Replies (9) Good night (397) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  When in doubt, it's too much cheese

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  (330): When in doubt, it's too much cheese http://tfl.nu/wnpd
  Replies (11) Good night (241) Bad night (424)

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