you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
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Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
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im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.