i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
