I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
