Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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