Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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