So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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