eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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