i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
