White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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