Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
