We won't sleep together?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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