:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
