His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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