God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
