did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
