at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
