I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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