You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
