she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
