so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
