absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
