i think i have herpe
just one?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
