Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Reggie can tackle my bush.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
