anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
