Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Randomize
