He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
