bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
