her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
