Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize