If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
