Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
