I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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