i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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