I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
