i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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