Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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