Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
