what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
