It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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