its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
