Do you still have your period?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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