You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
