Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
