I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
either way he was missing a nipple.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
