you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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