I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
