What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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