would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
