Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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