Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
