i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
