I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
