it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
