the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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