Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
