Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
